Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Disaster Management




Mr. Manmohan lips movement, actual voice from Ms. Sonia:

Dear countrymen, now our various department ministers will talk about the upcoming NATIONAL DISASTER and the precautions to handle that adversary effect.

Mr. A K Anotny:

Friends, first of all we should develop courage to face this DISASTER. It is not like Tsunami, Strom, Heavy rain, Drought, etc. It is worse than that. Arrival of this Disaster will lead to brutal food shortage. It seems the southern part of India will have big impact. As of now North India and rest of world are completely safe. All our military departments will be put on red alert. There will be undisclosed number of Troops withdrawal from Pakistan border. They will be moved to Southern part of India.

Mr. Pranab:

More funds will be allotted to Tamil Nadu, Karnataka and Kerala to handle such blow. I pray got to give great resilience to those people to recover from that Disaster.

Mr. Chidambaram:

More Rice will be supplied to Tamil Nadu from Central food godown.

Milk, Fruits and Vegetable movement form TN to Kerala and Karnataka will be halted for 24 days.

Eggs and Chicken export from Namakal will be banned for 20 days effective from 5th march.

Road users are urged to excise extra caution while driving. This Disaster will cross you any time anywhere at the speed of sound (minus 323 m/s)

Some where in Afgan or Pakistan or USA

Taliban: Mr. Osama did you heard the news, India is withdrawing troops from border, shall we plan for attack.

Osama: Cool guys, it will take few months for India to recover from that Disaster visit, we should not show our arm power to physically challenged person.

Emirates Airlines:

It’s coming by Emirates Airline EK 542, Seat No 27A, sources from Emirates Airline said “Habi bi….when this disaster traveled to China three years ago, the flight tilted one side all the way through the journey. This time we planned remove 26 A, 26B, 28A, 28B seats so that excess weight will be balanced. One cargo flight will fly along with EK 542 with additional food and beverages to avoid any short supply”

Tentative Route & Time map of Disaster Movement:

March 5 2010, 2.15 a.m. – Chennai Arrival

March 6 2010 – Chennai

March 7 to 15 2010 - In and Around Thiruvannamalai,

March 13 & 14 2010 - Mysore (Mysore Maharaja will request Mugil and Karthi to vist Thiruvannamalai, so that this Disaster will stay in Thiruvannamalai and Mysore will be saved. Mean time Maharashtra’s home minister will hold talk with Mr. Murugan. It seems Mr. Murugan will be requested to come down to Mysore or to Thiruvannamalai.

March 18 to 24 - In and around Chennai

March 24 2010 - Emirates Airline 547, end of Armageddon. Disaster will move back to Dubai.

There may be change in route and time map, because the movement is controlled by a Commander in Chief with her “IRON HANDS”

Targets:

Apart from relatives, it seems below peoples are in hit list. Where ever you guys run you will be attacked by this Disaster.

With families - Karthi, Murugan, Mugil, Paramasivam, Dinakar….)…to be updated till March 25 2010

Individuals – Gangadaran, Arul Vijayan, Basker, Guru, Venkat, Sashee, Murali, Jayakumar, Senthil (Mysore)…to be updated till March 25 2010

By Phone – Mr. Jackiesekar (http://jackiesekar.blogspot.com/), Mr. Jaggu (http://jambazarjaggu.blogspot.com/)

Mr. Sunil Mittal, Air Tel

On behalf of AirTel, its my pleasure to Welcome that Disaster. During last visit (2008) our company made great profit. This disaster used three SIM cards. Below are per day mobile usage details. Hope this time also History repeats.

SIM CARD1 - 24 hours local outgoing calls

SIM CARD2 – 4 hours local and national incoming calls, unlimited mobile internet.

SIM CARD3 – 2 hours international incoming and outgoing calls.

Disclaimer

Mr. Lakshmi Mittal, Mr. Ratan Tata, Mr. Kukesh, Mr. Nandan Nilekani, Mr. Azim Premji, Mr. Anil, Mr. Sunil Mittal, Mr. Kamath, Mr. Kumar M Birla, Mr. Rahul Bajaj, …ect guys this is once in a blue moon opportunity. If you guys give appointment to this disaster, it will meet and discuss about your business development in UAE, after Twenty20 you guys has to take appointment to meet this disaster.

Girls don’t worry about this DISASTER, after Feb 18 2008 incident it stopped putting “kadalai”